Don’t Look Back: Losing to Gain

Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”- Luke 9:61-62

I’ve been chewing on this Luke 9 passage. I remember hearing how this passage is like marriage vows and it’s a joyful commitment to God. If I’m honest, as I read them now, years later, I’m not sure I agree. In fact, Jesus was teaching that following Him was going to be hard and people who didn’t want it to be hard should just leave and go back to what they were doing. He said by following Him you may not even have housing and you will have to leave people and places you love. He’s preparing them that going in His name will not be easy and they will not be loved by all.

I’m struck most by the call to not even say goodbye to anyone but go forward in the work He calls. Though we were blessed to have a wonderful “goodbye party” before we left NJ, I see now my tendency to look back. I LOVE our call and the immediate impact Andy has on people who would never know the name Jesus but now can through his labor. I cry sometimes when I think that He chose us to come and follow Him here to serve others.

Yet, I miss seeing family and celebrating big moments and some everyday moments with them. I miss having consistent paychecks. I miss having bonded time-tested friendships where people rejoice when they see growth in our lives because they know where God has taken us from. I miss raising my children in the house/neighborhood/town where I’ve known and been known my whole life. I miss our postman Fred, who daily preached to me that “He’s coming back soon” while he handed me our neighbors mail by accident. I miss pouring into waitresses/owners of restaurants we loved to pray with and for them and share Jesus with them. I miss our 20 Something group where we stayed long nights and sometimes whole weekends just praying for one another in hard times, praising God together, and digging in His Word to know Him more. There are so many more…  Leaving isn’t easy, even when there’s so much we had to come here to. Just typing it brings fresh tears. I won’t lie, it’s hard.

So what can I learn in this? And why is God calling me not to look back, but instead to press on forward into Him and His call?

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 3:12-14

To be continued….

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Fallen Idol- one man's sin exposed my own

CJ Mahaney steps down as SGM President... I'm still midprocess, but wanted to share thoughts on what God is teaching me. This week, I read that the President of our family of churches was voluntarily stepping down for a season of discipline and restoration because of sins of pride, sinful judgement, lack of submission to accountability, and even spiritual blackmail. We were assured this has been a year and 1/2 long process and he had already been restored to many he had wounded in his sin, but is stepping down to help healing personally and in Sovereign Grace Ministries as a whole. One (godly) man compiled 600 pages of documents of accusations and emails that he sent to CJ and that were posted online. I read through much of it as I grieved and wondered what this means for the church we've loved these past 6 months and our family. Andy and I prayed. I cried. And then I poured over websites of hurt former members and the official documents. They were written personally to ...
Read more

When Homeschool is all over the home

Image
I was ready to give up. I began thinking maybe I should just expect to eat at a table covered in math manipulatives and maps. Over a period of time and in a variety of ways, God lead us to homeschool our boys years ago. I've come to adore homeschooling my kids (most days), but we've never been able to make a "homeschool room" work for us. We somehow wind up on the living room couch or at the kitchen table. Every day. Learning about atoms and molecules Reviewing Latin Oh how the math manipulatives take over the table.  Are you getting the point that we use this room a lot? I remember reading that God has made everything beautiful in his time and thinking that I LOVE that HE's made beautiful things and places and people. It's a cool reflection of Him. I really enjoy pretty spaces in people's homes. It feels welcoming to me. I'm fine with toys everywhere, but I also love welcoming others to a peaceful, homey space. So I began wondering if...
Read more

Because I Forget...

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.   Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”- Ephesians 5:15-17 I’m starting this blog to hold me accountable to live in a way that glorifies God and to encourage other young women and moms who are daily striving to seek Christ alone and make the most of every opportunity to know Him more and make Him known. In my posts I’ll share ways our family looks for the “gospel reminders” in our daily lives and traditions. I need this because I forget. I wander daily away from the truth that I need Christ and I’m not self-sufficient. I forget how much He loves me and offers forgiveness and grace because of His love for me. This is about my journey to know Him more and how I see the gospel in fresh ways and teach it to my children through traditions and daily life. Truly Christ is the center and central theme of the Bible, in my personal...
Read more