A Glimpse into My Struggle...

"The people of Israel ate the manna forty years, till they came to a habitable land."- Exodus 16:35
God provided for 40 years... Why 40? BECAUSE THEY SINNED. They were wandering because of their sin and God was still providing their daily need the entire time.

I have been battling areas of sin that are constant struggles in my life. The biggest is fear. I feel incredibly weak and vulnerable in pregnancy and find myself fearful for the baby, for my other children, myself, and even Andy. I'm so aware of my unworthiness in it, too. I know to eat in moderation, yet eat in excess daily (note- pregnancy has actually put an abrupt halt to that), I battle to set good time boundaries with internet, and still continue to desire comfort and stuff instead of giving generously and living simply... This list could go on a long time.

As I've been struggling, I've been crying out and begging God to help me fight these sins. And He just keeps lavishing grace after grace. I'll cry out that I hate that I'm back on facebook for a third time in one day (ew!). And almost instantly, "Jesus died for me and I am now free" pops in my head. There is no sin He has not redeemed of mine (Psalm 130). Not one. And this week, as I cried out in my unworthiness out of fear for our finances, I flipped back into Exodus, and God reminded me "Ginny, I provide every need for those who are mine, not because they are good, but because I love them. And you are mine. Rest in me." He's so good:) Resting again...
"Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you." -Psalm 116:7

Comments

Blestmom4 said…
Thanks Ginny! I so needed to read this today. Praying you feel better soon.
June 8, 2011 at 9:33 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Homeschool is all over the home

Image
I was ready to give up. I began thinking maybe I should just expect to eat at a table covered in math manipulatives and maps. Over a period of time and in a variety of ways, God lead us to homeschool our boys years ago. I've come to adore homeschooling my kids (most days), but we've never been able to make a "homeschool room" work for us. We somehow wind up on the living room couch or at the kitchen table. Every day. Learning about atoms and molecules Reviewing Latin Oh how the math manipulatives take over the table.  Are you getting the point that we use this room a lot? I remember reading that God has made everything beautiful in his time and thinking that I LOVE that HE's made beautiful things and places and people. It's a cool reflection of Him. I really enjoy pretty spaces in people's homes. It feels welcoming to me. I'm fine with toys everywhere, but I also love welcoming others to a peaceful, homey space. So I began wondering if
Read more

A Fallen Idol- one man's sin exposed my own

CJ Mahaney steps down as SGM President... I'm still midprocess, but wanted to share thoughts on what God is teaching me. This week, I read that the President of our family of churches was voluntarily stepping down for a season of discipline and restoration because of sins of pride, sinful judgement, lack of submission to accountability, and even spiritual blackmail. We were assured this has been a year and 1/2 long process and he had already been restored to many he had wounded in his sin, but is stepping down to help healing personally and in Sovereign Grace Ministries as a whole. One (godly) man compiled 600 pages of documents of accusations and emails that he sent to CJ and that were posted online. I read through much of it as I grieved and wondered what this means for the church we've loved these past 6 months and our family. Andy and I prayed. I cried. And then I poured over websites of hurt former members and the official documents. They were written personally to C
Read more

Because I Forget...

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.   Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”- Ephesians 5:15-17 I’m starting this blog to hold me accountable to live in a way that glorifies God and to encourage other young women and moms who are daily striving to seek Christ alone and make the most of every opportunity to know Him more and make Him known. In my posts I’ll share ways our family looks for the “gospel reminders” in our daily lives and traditions. I need this because I forget. I wander daily away from the truth that I need Christ and I’m not self-sufficient. I forget how much He loves me and offers forgiveness and grace because of His love for me. This is about my journey to know Him more and how I see the gospel in fresh ways and teach it to my children through traditions and daily life. Truly Christ is the center and central theme of the Bible, in my personal lif
Read more