Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Glimpse into My Struggle...

"The people of Israel ate the manna forty years, till they came to a habitable land."- Exodus 16:35
God provided for 40 years... Why 40? BECAUSE THEY SINNED. They were wandering because of their sin and God was still providing their daily need the entire time.

I have been battling areas of sin that are constant struggles in my life. The biggest is fear. I feel incredibly weak and vulnerable in pregnancy and find myself fearful for the baby, for my other children, myself, and even Andy. I'm so aware of my unworthiness in it, too. I know to eat in moderation, yet eat in excess daily (note- pregnancy has actually put an abrupt halt to that), I battle to set good time boundaries with internet, and still continue to desire comfort and stuff instead of giving generously and living simply... This list could go on a long time.

As I've been struggling, I've been crying out and begging God to help me fight these sins. And He just keeps lavishing grace after grace. I'll cry out that I hate that I'm back on facebook for a third time in one day (ew!). And almost instantly, "Jesus died for me and I am now free" pops in my head. There is no sin He has not redeemed of mine (Psalm 130). Not one. And this week, as I cried out in my unworthiness out of fear for our finances, I flipped back into Exodus, and God reminded me "Ginny, I provide every need for those who are mine, not because they are good, but because I love them. And you are mine. Rest in me." He's so good:) Resting again...
"Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you." -Psalm 116:7

1 comment:

Blestmom4 said...

Thanks Ginny! I so needed to read this today. Praying you feel better soon.