Wednesday, February 27, 2013
In the Midst, Part 2: Pregnant and Bleeding
I'm sharing about how God met me in the midst of my miscarriage in this series. You may want to read my first post and then head back to this. Here is a series of text messages I sent updating when bleeding started and as we waited, not knowing whether I'd heal or we'd lose the baby:
In hospital for an ultrasound. Listening to praise music as we wait to stay our hearts on Christ. Scary situation, but faithful God.
... Just left hospital. Definitely still pregnant. Glimpse of underdeveloped baby shows that I could be "pre-miscarriage" or we miscalculated my due date. On bedrest now. Will get more bloodwork monday to ensure the baby's # rises and then prob. another ultrasound in a week or so. Not super hopeful news, but thankful the Lord does know and trusting Him in the emotional roller coaster of it all.
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning."
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.
O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!"
Waiting and wondering (while still bleeding) is really emotionally hard, but we know God has been saying it's HIM we're really waiting on and seeking. So that's a comfort. We aren't waiting for blood numbers, we wait for Him. And He WILL act. So thankful for that truth.
"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
Today's update: bleeding is still bad- tablespoon sizes clots. No pain. I am weak physically. I slept ALL morning while andy took the kids to church.
I shared with Andy that if these are our last few days parenting this little gift, I don't want to spend that time worrying, but want to parent this child as we always have with our children by praying, praising God, and doing church- however that is possible while still physically on bedrest.
Soooo... we invited friends over this afternoon as the boys napped to pray with us, fellowship, and share all God's doing worldwide. it was real and beautiful with tears and laughter and worship and excitement at how God is moving. It was a a sweet gift during an emotionally and physically exhausting weekend.