Some of you have (naturally) asked what process we go through with our children to help them see their sin. We have nothing new or unique to us, just what we appreciated as solid biblical truth expounded on by Paul Tripp in his dvd conference "Getting to the Heart of Parenting" and by his brother, Ted Tripp in his book, Shepherding a Child's Heart (discipline process on page 150). Both are amazing and I highly recommend getting them and going through them as a couple.
Our main purpose in these questions is to help Jimmy (and Caleb one day) to see that everything he does flows out from his heart... and that is where the lasting change in him will come from as well. Always from the heart outward...
The 5 Questions- always in THIS order to show how behavior comes from the heart outward):
1) What was going on?
2) What were you thinking (or feeling) as it happened?
3) What did you do in response?
4) Why Did you do it? What did you hope would happen because of it?
5) What was the result?
|We are so alike it's scary!|
Jimmy finds out we are having spinach at dinner and cries (you laugh, but it happens.) and then yells at me and throws his head down on the couch grumbling and complaining.
Me: "What happened?"
Jimmy: "You promised me I could pick where we eat out and now you lied and I have to eat spinach!"
*note- this is his version. I don't correct it ever. It's just a way for me to see what he is thinking. Even if I'm confident I never promised eating out and see nothing wrong with spinach, I don't even address that here. Right now is about his heart.*
Me: "How did you feel when you heard me saying I'm making spinach?"
Jimmy: "Mad. Sad."
[read the rest of this series here: Post #4- When to Correct,# 5- Our correction process, #6- Addressing bad character]