Making the Most of Every Opportunity

I'm blogging about one of the most painful trials I've faced, miscarriage. You can read my previous posts here: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 . Here's the AMAZING truth God showed me after my last ultrasound: "January 5 I had my last ultrasound this week. I didn't tell anyone i was going because i just couldn't get myself to. Once there, the technician checked me while I stared at the large tv on the wall with a live view of my empty womb and God met me there beautifully. My first response afterwards was overwhelming sadness. I wept a lot and told God i wanted to be staring at a baby but i also struggled feeling faithless that i want what He doesn't seem to want for me. He reminded me that He's able and He gives generously. It was tangible God-speak, too. Through me flashing to romans 8:32 immediately- "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" And then through...

I've been sharing some texts I wrote as I sensed God's nearness in the midst of my miscarriage. You can read the first 3 here: 1 , 2 , 3 "Dec. 20 We lost the baby today. "in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Sweet baby knows a sweeter joy, not mixed with salty sorrow, but in God's presence with full joy. God took me to Psalm 27: " One thing have I asked of the LORD , that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. " And then here in Psalm 73: "I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart...

I've been sharing about my miscarriage, mainly through texts written in the midst. You may want to go back and read posts 1 and 2 for the full story. God met me in some crazy ways (just wait for my ultrasound "empty" aha!). This post is mainly a revived perspective on suffering learned as I endured suffering. "Dec.17 I'm seeing 2 corinthians 4 with new eyes right now. This chunk just matches up so perfectly with the emotions i'm experiencing and truth i know in the midst as we walk through this pregnancy God joyfully surprised us with yet seems anything but normal and healthy. We're waiting and not entirely sure what for, other than God Himself. but we trust Him fully in it. So we wait, feeling just like Paul described: "We are afflicted... but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair" It's perplexing and confusing. The sense we had from God and what we're experiencing don't match.  Yet suffering feel...

I'm sharing about how God met me in the midst of my miscarriage in this series. You may want to read my first post and then head back to this. Here is a series of text messages I sent updating when bleeding started and as we waited, not knowing whether I'd heal or we'd lose the baby: "Dec. 14th In hospital for an ultrasound. Listening to praise music as we wait to stay our hearts on Christ. Scary situation, but faithful God. ... Just left hospital. Definitely still pregnant. Glimpse of underdeveloped baby shows that I could be "pre-miscarriage" or we miscalculated my due date. On bedrest now. Will get more bloodwork monday to ensure the baby's # rises and then prob. another ultrasound in a week or so. Not super hopeful news, but thankful the Lord does know and trusting Him in the emotional roller coaster of it all. "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the m...

Some of you have asked me to share how my surgery went. I'm sitting here almost a week later staring at my precious third baby boy thinking how sweet God's gifts to us are. He's small and cute and perfect. Our family is so much fuller because he's here and it makes it seem silly to talk about anything else...but onto the surgery and what I learned: We need the church - I felt so overwhelmed by fear at just the thought of going into surgery and yet God so covered me with His grace and strength through the love of friends and family. So many sent Scripture to encourage me, blog posts to help prep me, and lots of hugs, prayers, and kind words. It reminded me that we need each other. In a time of really weak faith, I had an army of faith-filled friends and family fighting with me to hold me strong towards God. It was Ephesians 6 (armor of God) lived out in community and it was an incredible (and humbling) experience. Sometimes the things you fear DO happen - When I st...

Have you ever read a passage and suddenly it makes SO much sense? I'm pretty positive I've heard sermons on John 9 that brought out the same things, but as I read through the story of the blind man's healing, I was struck by God's purpose in His blindness. Here's the aha verse: "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life ." -John 9:2-3 He did nothing wrong, yet he was blind. It reminded me of Job, who was actually praised for his fear of God and upright lifestyle and then chosen to suffer deep loss to show faithfulness to God (Job1-2). I'm reminded that God is purposeful. I'm not saying I think God chooses to harm us and punish. I'm saying that I believe the truth that God is purposeful in all He does. He is glorified in our suffering and it is for our good (Romans 8:28)...

I recently read a powerful blog post by Mike Anderson on the Resurgence blog. He spoke very candidly about his daughter who was born mostly blind at birth and all that God has been teaching him about Himself in 11 weeks since she's been alive. 1. The God of the universe grieves-  He shares how much it hurt to know his daughter can't see him and how he realized how much God grieves when we are spiritually blind and don't see Him. 2. The God of the universe comforts his kids  He is learning firsthand that God doesn't leave us in our suffering, but sends His comforter, His Spirit. 3. The God of the universe is Holy—he makes great things come from situations of suffering-  He quotes John 9:1-7 to show how the man's blindness was not because of sin but for God's glory to be shown greater. 4. The God of the universe heals-  He understands the length God went through to heal our spiritual blindness and restore us, because there is no obstacle (money, time, etc.)...

I was reading 1 Peter 2 and made a connection on how we live out our role as a church to proclaim His excellencies that has challenged my thinking. 1) In vs. 9 it says who we are In Christ : a chosen race, royal priesthood, holy nation, a people for His own possession. I've written some thoughts on that before in these posts: All In Him Together 1 , and Together But Separate 2 , but today I was thinking more of how it ties into the rest of the passage... 2) What's the purpose of our role in Him? To Proclaim the excellencies of Him who called us out of darkness into His excellent light. To show the mercy we've received (vs. 9-10) 3) But HOW do we proclaim His excellencies ? This is what has challenged me! First, Peter continues the theme of being pure and fighting against sin (11-12) that he set in Chapter 1 and early in Chapter 2. Then the rest of the passage (and really book) is about submitting in suffering. The servant is challenged to be subject in ALL respects...

I pray this series (click here to read posts 1 , 2 , 3 , and 4 ) has been a blessing and help to you as you prepare for suffering or endure through. I want to end by sharing wisdom from a blog that has encouraged me so deeply. I LOVE this sweet truth Ray Ortlund  (you should go scroll through more of his blog ) points out in the midst of suffering: He will restore us. “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5:10-11 And after you have suffered a little while .... Your suffering is real. “A little while” does not trivialize it. But suffering is not the rest of your story. It will end, and soon – as measured by the actual, eternal grandeur of your life. the God of all grace. ... He has remedies, comforts and powers for every need, every occasion, every moment. who has called yo...

If you've been following along, you know I've been posting a series to prep our hearts for suffering in our own lives ( Post 1 ), what to do with our questions in grief ( Post 2 ), and how to be a friend to those suffering ( Post 3 ). Today, I'm memorizing promises in suffering. Not to spout them off as fact to my hurting friends, but to stay my mind on God's promises, so when my day comes, they will be seeds planted that I pray will bear fruit in my heart. this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen .   - 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 Paul says this suffering is preparing us and in it we should look heavenward to understand it. Numerous times scripture even says to rejoice in it. Let’s look at a few truths we can cling to for truth and hope as we endure suffering and entrust ourselves to God in it. Through suffering… We Know Jesus More: “rejo...

I've been sharing about suffering. In  Post 1 I shared resources and in Post 2 I looked at the questions Jesus asked in the midst of His own suffering. Today, I want to talk about being a friend to the suffering. " God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus ,and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more."- 2 Corinthians 7:6-7 This verse means so much to me. In times of deepest despair, I have cried out to God and He has answered me through His Word. This verse of comfort is one tangible way. God shows us His nearness in our suffering through His people. Isn't that just like God?  Sometimes He seems far in those dark days, but His Word says He is comforting us then. He doesn't leave us alone in our suffering. He comforts us by sending others to mourn with us, cry with us, hope for us when we feel hopeless...

  Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying,  “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?”  that is,  “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”Matthew 27:46 There are some sufferings that are just impossible to stand up under. Some losses go beyond grief and into despair. I have felt very few of these, but when they came, I could barely breathe, let alone preach the gospel to others watching. But God was faithful to draw me to Himself in it and show Himself to be so real as I clung to His promises. Today, I find myself drawn to others who suffer, many suffering in far worse way than I'll ever know. I pray for them as they grieve, or endure hard seasons, and while they are dying. I pray that they will know our God of Comfort deeper because they are experiencing it. I pray that He will be real and near to them in it. I pray that He'll strengthen them in His strength to endure and to trust in Him through their suffering and enjoy the rewards in heaven later through it. Some peop...

I share with you last week a prayer request for our family. It leads to a good thought:Where do you go for comfort when someone you love is sick or dies? What about seasons of suffering that go on and on and the end seems so far? Who will help us grieve and suffer authentically and yet draw us nearer to God in it? I want to share in some specific Scripture God has used in my life throughout in the next few posts, but first let me suggest a few resources to turn to: - Plant yourself in His Word : Only God can comfort us and He will fully comfort those who seek Him! His Word is our truth, our rock, and our firm foundation. Trust Him for your full peace and comfort as you crack open His Word. Pray and ask Him to guide you as You read.  If you don't carry your Bible with you daily, the best  Bible for download  i know is the ESV version. It's completely free to download-yay!!!! You can put it on your Kindle, iphone, etc and have it with you anywhere you are. - Counse...

Please pray with us for our Toot There is no "new" news, yet today after I listened to an update on our dear grandfather "Toot", I feel lead to share and ask you all to pray with our family. We have been praying for Toot as confusion and weakness seem to be his new norm. We are praying for our Mom as she faithfully cares for her father in his last days. We don't know how long this time will be (true of our own lives as well), but she is committed to walking through these last, hard days (though it's been over a year now already) with him. I'm so thankful for her loving commitment and sacrifice. I could write an entire other blog filled with all we've learned through her in this. We find ourselves praying and processing (and, to be honest, crying) a lot about how Toot is no longer the strong rock he has always been. Though we hear that he has good times, we miss the weekly phone conversations he and Andy had, the silly songs he'd sing to Jim...

“Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself , so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted .   In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” This time of reflection and looking at Jesus in His holiness and beauty taking on my sin of ugliness and hate to make me righteous (2 Corinthians 5:21) has been flooring me. The more I look at myself and hurt and cry and feel even shame, the more my heart is opening to how amazing His love is. He died my death! He endured beating, mocking, rejection, hatred, and He took it all with deep love for those very people. For me. WOW! It’s also making this Hebrews 12 passage come alive to me. Consider Him who endured the hostility so that I won’t grow weary. Knowing how He suffered and was rejected for me is such a reminder that I’ll really never suffer like that ever. I’ll never fully know it. But yet He will allow me to suffer here and see glimpses of His great suffering....

“… looking to Jesus , the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” I have an almost instant desire in this time of preparation for Easter to jump to the celebration of the empty tomb and Christ raised again. But God has been slowing me down to really know the JOY of victory by first looking at the pain from sin that lead to death… and this Jesus who took it on for me. I read Martin Luther describe how Christ’s beauty as Son of God (Psalm 45:2) helps us see and know Him more. But it’s in His lack of beauty in human form (Isaiah 53:2) that we can begin to know ourselves. I deserve those thorns. I deserve the beatings. I deserve the punishment. I don’t want to brush off my hands because I know He took the punishment and miss that I deserved the punishment. I don’t want to forget who I am apart from Christ and who I continually will run back to be again w...

"Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith." -Hebrews 13:7 One way Andy and I like to "make the most" of our calendar year is by remembering people who we loved and loved us that have died. On the anniversary of my brother's death, we pray for my family as soon as we wake up in the morning. On the anniversary of my Grandpa's death, I email my Dad after we pray to let him know someone else remembers. We have others as well (putting a wreath on my friends grave, calling a friend's Mom, etc.) Today, we are starting a new tradition in our house. This morning at breakfast, we are taking a few minutes to remember our Gam. This is the first person Jimmy loved who has died and we want him to know how good it is to remember. Sweet Gam- You are loved and missed We're following the structure of Hebrews 13:7:   Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word o...

Here’s my last post in this series on the cost of following Christ…  You can read my previous posts here: DLB 1 - my call to move away was hard DLB 2 - how giving up good things/enduring through hard things grows me (as I see Christ as the true treasure) DLB 3 - how giving up good/enduring hard shows the gospel to others Please let it be clear that I do not think hardship/suffering is easy for the sufferer. And I am not saying that this “mini suffering” of moving is equal to other horrors . I believe that it’s beneficial to share this suffering because most of us will only really know these “mini sufferings”. They are very real and we can grow deeper into Christ through them . Some of us will face more. Some are being prepared through the small so that when great tragedy falls, our strength is rooted and firm in Christ. Others already have experienced or are facing incredibly heartbreaking loss and pain. Those dear brothers and sisters can teach much more than I ever can and I...

I’ve been sharing in Post 1 and Post 2 how hard I’ve found the call to follow Christ to be at times and yet that I see purpose in this tearing away and even joy in it… God is reminding me that HE is the true treasure my heart seeks and living here is a chance to see Him as that treasure both in how I receive/reject “good” things and embrace hard times . But I also get an opportunity in each to show His worth to others. Lesson 2: “ But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.   Indeed , I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord . For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him” -Philippians 3:7-9a Both the good and hard things are not just for my growth, but an opportunity to show His great value to others. God gives everyone good and hard things, not just those that are His. I believe that He does this so that His own can re...