Making the Most of Every Opportunity

I'm blogging about one of the most painful trials I've faced, miscarriage. You can read my previous posts here: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 . Here's the AMAZING truth God showed me after my last ultrasound: "January 5 I had my last ultrasound this week. I didn't tell anyone i was going because i just couldn't get myself to. Once there, the technician checked me while I stared at the large tv on the wall with a live view of my empty womb and God met me there beautifully. My first response afterwards was overwhelming sadness. I wept a lot and told God i wanted to be staring at a baby but i also struggled feeling faithless that i want what He doesn't seem to want for me. He reminded me that He's able and He gives generously. It was tangible God-speak, too. Through me flashing to romans 8:32 immediately- "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" And then through...

I've been sharing some texts I wrote as I sensed God's nearness in the midst of my miscarriage. You can read the first 3 here: 1 , 2 , 3 "Dec. 20 We lost the baby today. "in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Sweet baby knows a sweeter joy, not mixed with salty sorrow, but in God's presence with full joy. God took me to Psalm 27: " One thing have I asked of the LORD , that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. " And then here in Psalm 73: "I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart...

I've been sharing about my miscarriage, mainly through texts written in the midst. You may want to go back and read posts 1 and 2 for the full story. God met me in some crazy ways (just wait for my ultrasound "empty" aha!). This post is mainly a revived perspective on suffering learned as I endured suffering. "Dec.17 I'm seeing 2 corinthians 4 with new eyes right now. This chunk just matches up so perfectly with the emotions i'm experiencing and truth i know in the midst as we walk through this pregnancy God joyfully surprised us with yet seems anything but normal and healthy. We're waiting and not entirely sure what for, other than God Himself. but we trust Him fully in it. So we wait, feeling just like Paul described: "We are afflicted... but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair" It's perplexing and confusing. The sense we had from God and what we're experiencing don't match.  Yet suffering feel...

I'm sharing about how God met me in the midst of my miscarriage in this series. You may want to read my first post and then head back to this. Here is a series of text messages I sent updating when bleeding started and as we waited, not knowing whether I'd heal or we'd lose the baby: "Dec. 14th In hospital for an ultrasound. Listening to praise music as we wait to stay our hearts on Christ. Scary situation, but faithful God. ... Just left hospital. Definitely still pregnant. Glimpse of underdeveloped baby shows that I could be "pre-miscarriage" or we miscalculated my due date. On bedrest now. Will get more bloodwork monday to ensure the baby's # rises and then prob. another ultrasound in a week or so. Not super hopeful news, but thankful the Lord does know and trusting Him in the emotional roller coaster of it all. "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the m...