Thursday, April 12, 2012

my weight

My weight. A battle in my life for years. I have a desire to honor God, to look/feel good, and an inability to do it. Most of the time. A friend once shared her own struggle to seek Christ first in it as a struggle between two false gods of pleasure and vanity. That's SO me. 

Pleasure-I want whatever food I want, when I want. It's to please me and I look to cake/cookies to satisfy what I know only God can.

Vanity- Yet when God gives me the ability to honor Him in daily eating, I lose weight. And i LOVE that I've lost it. I may not brag openly, yet my heart is the same. I still hope people will notice and that becomes my god. 

But what is amazing me in my daily battle is God's grace. He knows this about me and as He shows me daily, He's offering a way out. Himself. I'm bouncing back and forth from the path of vanity/glory to the path of pleasure/gluttony and He just keeps gently guiding me back to His path of life and freedom. It's beautiful. I'm so thankful for His love and grace.

"... Your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.
And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.
Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, "Be gone!"

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